Life is Beautiful

3 Easy Ways To Die ..
1.    Take a Cigar daily – You will die 10 years early.
2.    Drink Rum daily – You will die 30 years early.
3.    Love someone truly – You will die daily.

1. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.
2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:
Before Marriage – Drink whenever you are SAD
AfterMarriage – Drink whenever you are HAPPY
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication:
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
If you Need still FASTER – Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE .
4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.

5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC

6. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will
just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him
because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
7. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend – You are missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend – You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

8. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
9. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness – Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL .
 
10. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY twice.
Because as per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake